Poor, poor Peyton. Indy will not be the same without you!
It is a sad, sad day in Indianapolis. The Colts are releasing Peyton Manning from his contract today, and decent human beings all over the world are in mourning for our hero. Today in LA, my #18 jersey will be flying at half-mast from the back of my chair at work. Other people have asked me what they can do in order to properly grieve. First, it should required for everyone to wear black arm bands for the next month. Second, Horse Shoe tattoos are wholeheartedly encouraged. Finally, I’m entirely in favor of holding a traditional Irish wake. It’s only proper after such a traumatic passing. Get yourself a bottle of Jameson, a few friends, a lot of horse shoes, and just go to town. Also feel free to blast “We Are the Champions” over and over again, drunkenly hollering along. We’ll ignore that I’m not entirely sure if Peyton is Irish. But you know what is Irish? Luck. Oh, and speaking of Luck…
Even though Peyton is out of the picture now, we must all agree that we still have to be Colts fans anyway. Andrew Luck is going to be our quarterback, and there’s a chance we could be back in playoff contention next season. So while I’ll be crying myself to sleep for the next few weeks, sobbing into my Peyton jersey, I will also be joining the waiting list to get my Andrew Luck jersey. After getting that taken care of, I’ll have to get another Manning jersey for whatever team Peyton ends up signing with next (if any). This is going to be an expensive couple of months, jersey-wise. My initial hopes were that he would sign with Arizona or Seattle, mainly because that means I would have a better chance of watching him play live before he retires. Just as long as he doesn’t pick some God-awful team like the Redskins or Miami. But after consulting with a serious NFL Expert Panel (aka my friends Taylor and Kat), I was informed that the only suitable team that Peyton could sign with is the New Orleans Saints. While this would require the demise of one of my other favorite quarterbacks, Taylor and Kat point out that the colors, logo, and city of New Orleans are enough reason to root for the team. I believe their exact words were, “Black is so flattering and there’s nothing I love more than fleur de lis’!” There you have it folks. I don’t know why Peyton hasn’t signed this dynamic duo to manage his career makeover yet.