Super Tuesday, or Primary for Schmucks

Case in point for why no GOP candidate should have a leg to stand on.

Today is “Super Tuesday,” and I’m feeling anything but super. This primary has been going on forever, and with each passing day the candidates – and more recently, the pundits – have found a new group of people to offend. We started with those “Mexi-can’ts”, then the Gays, Muslims, the poor, the Gays again, and now women. Specifically women on birth control. Women, who as Rush Limbaugh would call them, sluts. Huge sex-hungry, succubus-like sluts. Rush Limbaugh expressed his concern on his show last week that he is personally paying for young women to have sex via his tax dollars. Let’s ignore the fact that his tax dollars don’t pay for independent companies’ health care plans, proving the man knows nothing about economics. Let’s focus on the real problem: Rush is pissed that women are being “paid” to have sex with someone that isn’t him. At the end of his rant the other day, he even said that if he has to “keep paying for women to have sex” (again, not how it works) that these women should have to video tape it and put it online for the world to see. Classy, you sick, chauvinistic sack of human filth. And I mean that in the best sense possible, in that I don’t want my tax dollars going to help pay for your triple bypass when it gives out from all the shitty food you’ve been eating, coupled with all the proscription pills you down between radio shows. Every time Rush eats a hamburger, I’d like him to upload it to YouTube so we can all watch as he tries to pick the extra cheese off the wrapper.

When the candidates were asked about Rush’s comments, you can only imagine how the responded. Newt said that it was the media’s fault for trying to bring down a conservative pundit. Sorry Newt, but Rush didn’t need the “left wing elitist media” to help with that. Romney said that he wouldn’t have used those “exact words”. I think he may have used something along the lines of “lady of the night” or “floozie”. And you wonder why we don’t have a GOP front runner yet. Because according to all these rich old white men, several of my female friends who use birth control to avoid having problems related to anemia and other various health concerns are all raging prostitutes. Way to court the female vote. We’ve really set the bar high for intellectual discussion in this country, haven’t we?

Thanks GOP, you’ve really solidified for me why I’ll be voting for Obama this fall.

Ciao Bella!

Matteo Yazge

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