Happy Leap Day! Live it up.

HAPPY LEAP DAY, Y’ALL! Let’s all let loose!

Once every four years, we are granted the glorious gift of an extra day in February. Most people want to discount this extra day as not meaning anything. Well, you tell that to all those people who were born on February 29th, 1948 who are finally turning 16 and getting their drivers licenses. Or how about those born on this day in 1940, who just turned 18 in time to vote in possibly the most annoying presidential election in US history? And lest we forget those sorry S.O.B.’s that were born on February 29th, 1928. Those poor octogenarians are finally 21 today and tasting their first sip of that sweet, sweet elixir of the Gods commonly known as Gin.

But not everyone is at least 64 years old. What do we young whipper snappers do on leap day? Well, for starters, you get one more day for your rent check. So you should probably throw a raging house party. Just go crazy. I’m thinking a knitting circle, or starting a Leap Day bridge club? You could serve Wheat Thins and tea, provided that the tea is decaf and not too hot. Lemon wedges are optional. If that’s all a little too risque for you, maybe just switch the channel to whatever’s playing on Turner Classic Movies and unwrap a few hard candies. You’re not going to get another day like this for four more years, so you really have to live it up.

If you’re more of the outdoorsy type, then by all means, go paint the town red. Literally. I think there are some stop signs downtown that have some of the red paint peeling off. Nothing says “I take life by the horns” like going above and beyond your civic duty. You could also go over to the dog park. Not if you have a dog, of course. That’s too conventional; Leap Day is all about getting “cooky”. Only go to the dog park if you don’t have a dog, and then proceed to creepily watch everyone with a dog as you slowly weep, realizing how oh so alone you are for an extra day this year. There isn’t even a furry little ball of drool that wants to come home with you and hump your leg. People with dogs will enjoy this because it’s Leap Day. They won’t be creeped out by the sobbing mess on the bench, eerily observing the dog park and periodically yelling out “why, God, WHY!?”. Trust me.

There are plenty of other things I could suggest, but what’s the fun in that? Leap Day is all about making your own reckless fun. Take a moment to post in the comments what you’re doing this Leap Day. Or tweet me @theuglyamerican.

The opportunities are endless.

Ciao Bella!

Matteo Yazge


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