Severed Body Parts Found by Hollywood Sign

Isn’t this a beautiful place to find a dead body???

In case you missed it, earlier this week a severed head was found in the Hollywood Hills, the iconic area smack dab in the middle of LA County where they keep the Hollywood sign. In fact, the disembodied head was located on the trail right by the sign itself. Two women walking their dogs found the head and started taking pictures with it. Why would they take a picture with a creepy decapitated head? They thought it was a prop. See what kind of geniuses we have out here in LA? So proud, ladies. So proud.

After everyone was done posing with dead body parts, the LAPD were called in to start an investigation. Over the past few days, they’ve found the hands and feet, presumably from the same body. Unless “Thing” from The Adams Family was roaming around Griffith Park. But in all seriousness, this whole story is unbelievably disgusting. I feel that things like this only happen in the first season of Dexter. Correction, things like this should only happen on Dexter. What sick sonofabitch kills a man and disposes of his extremities next to the one thing in LA that isn’t already grimey and loathsome? Aside from killing someone, this man has ruined the one thing about LA that I actually found tolerable. Do you know how many times I’ve hiked around that stupid sign? I was there almost every weekend this summer. And it was a corpse-free summer too, mind you. Now I’m not going to be able to go to this park without thinking I’m going to run into the torso of the dead man, or that I’ll get chopped up into a million little pieces myself. Not to mention that this park is roughly a 10-15 minute drive from my house. God! Murderers just ruin everything. Happy weekend, kiddos.

Ciao Bella!

Matteo Yazge

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