Seal Pup sneaks into house, takes nap on couch; may be my long lost brother


You know how sometimes, when you get home from work with the funny feeling that something in your home isn’t quite right? Something just feels off. Like, oh, I don’t know… there’s a baby seal asleep on your couch??? My friend Taylor sent me this story from Huffington Post, and I’ve decided that I may need to move to New Zealand if this is the kind of every day occurrence that happens down there. Apparently this little seal pup waddled his way up from the water, through a neighborhood, got to these people’s house where it went under a fence, through one of those little cat doors, and onto the family’s couch. That is one determined little nugget. There must have been something incredibly wonderful about that couch for the seal’s little sea-mammal instincts to drive it to search that long and far for it. Maybe it was a Lay-z-boy. That’d make a great commercial. Just a clip of a family coming home from a movie to find an entire flock of seals on their new Lay-z-boy furniture. Is it a flock of seals? Maybe a school. I like herd the best. I prefer to think that all nuggetly things run in herds. It’s cuter that way. Like a herd of little people stampeding down a mountain valley.

But back to our seal friend. The article says that he had just been weaned from his momma-seal, so he was probably just missing home and needing some lovin’. This is exactly how I will be responding next week when I take the red-eye home to snuggle up on my parents’ couch. I’ll guard the nest and let my parents go “forage for food”, aka make lots of sugar cookies and pancakes. Baby seal pups and I are very much alike in this manner, what with all the eating to build up a nice layer of blubber and flopping around trying to get comfortable. I just hope those assholes from the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals don’t come and try to set me free back out into the wild. I’d much prefer to just nap on your couch.

Ciao Bella!

Matteo Yazge

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