Odom to Mavs, Kardashians to lose last legitimate marriage

The face of man on the run from Armenians.

As you can all imagine, I follow the NBA rather closely (chuckles to self over stellar use of sarcasm). And front and center in my daily NBA news digest was the announcement that the Lakers have traded Lamar Odom to the Dallas Mavericks for two sticks of gum and the last cup of pudding some other basketball thing/player/draft pick/whatever. Who knows and who cares? The important thing is that this may be Lamar’s best chance at getting away from that amazon-wife of his, Khloe K, and her insane family. Kim already made it quite clear that she wouldn’t move to Minnesota; I can only imagine how excited any of them would be to go to Dallas, whose only benefit as a city is that it’s not in Minnesota. The best that we can hope for is that Khloe actually does move there and the camera crews refuse to follow into the hellacious heat. Perhaps without the biggest leg of the Kardashian tripod, the whole empire will collapse and we’ll all be free of that horrid family once and for all.

While it’s a bad day for the Kardashian family, on the brink of losing its last remaining NBA Star husband, what about Lamar’s best bromance buddy, Kobe Bryant?

“To be honest with you, I don’t like it,” says Bryant. Well isn’t that cute! Khloe, you might have some competition for the affections of your big ol’ Laker of a husband. Out of everyone involved, I think I feel the most sympathy for Kobe. You know that everyone else involved has to be pretty messed up when I’m feeling anything but disgust for Kobe Bryant. I mean Kobe, if you get too sad, you can always go out and get yourself a few more hookers. Just be sure to video tape everything so you have evidence this time that there wasn’t any foul play. Lamar may like it rough like that, but you have to ask these ladies nicely first before you give them wedgies… or whatever weird crap you did with that hotel employee in Colorado.

Ciao Bella!

Matteo Yazge

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