Weekend Movie Review: Muppets, Vampires, Hoover Vacuums.

I promise this is the last time I’ll talk about this movie.

It turns out that people are still primarily concerned with vampire babies that make Kristen Stewart look even more like a bloated sack of blood. Twilight: the Penultimate Life-suck still holds the top spot at the box office, much to the chagrin of everyone who enjoys legitimate films that don’t make your brain turn to rot. I haven’t seen it, and the only way I will be coerced into a theater to watch it is under the influence of large quantities of gin and tonic. Or if I’m allowed to take a bottle into the theater and have a fun little drinking game that involves a swig every time K-Stew bites her bottom lip, Taylor Lautner takes his shirt off, or Robert Pattinson says something moronic. But I digress. The point is that much more deserving movies somehow trailed behind this suck-fest, pun intended.

The Muppets came in second this weekend, and I actually saw that movie. Overall, it was definitely a good movie. The whole premise of the movie is that an evil oil baron is trying to take over the Muppet studios, thus causing the whole gang to reunite and throw a Muppets telethon to raise the money to save the studio. When they start the telethon and the old “It’s time to play the music, it’s time to light the lights” opening song, I almost started crying in the theater. There is so much of my childhood wrapped up in those crazy little Muppets, it made my heart happy to see someone trying to bring that to another generation of kids. The sections during the telethon stayed true to the original Muppet memes – Fozzie’s stand-up act, Gonzo trying to knock bowling pins off Jack Black’s head, Statler and Waldorf making wise cracks –  and were ultimately the most successful parts of the movie. Hopefully the success of this movie means we’ll be seeing a lot more of the Muppets in the future! (In the meantime, I’ll be watching the old movies on constant repeat.)

In more serious movie news, I finally saw J. Edgar. It’s been out a couple weeks, so it didn’t even break the top 10 at the box office this weekend. It makes sense, because the movie is definitely not an upper. Mr. Hoover was kind of an asshole: control freak, egomaniac, compulsive liar. Take your pick of favorite character traits. My problem is that Leonardo DiCaprio always plays really unlikeable characters, and somewhere along the way I’ve convinced myself that Leo is also that undesirable a human being. It’s almost a Pavlovian response at this point; I’ve been trained to dislike him when I see his characters on screen, that now whenever I see his face anywhere, I feel the need to punch it. Especially with the number of times he makes that Winklevoss twin cry during J. Edgar. All of that said, he deserves an Oscar nomination for his performance. Clint Eastwood will probably get a nod for directing, as will the make-up costume team. It’s insane the aging they did to Leo for that role, not to mention the 30-40 pounds he had to put on for the role. That’s dedication.

Still on my list for the next few weekends are My Week With Marilyn, The Descendants, Melancholia, and guilty pleasure Young Adult. Come on, don’t tell me you’re not the slightest bit interested in seeing Charlize Theron get all Hangover-y. These movies will hold me over until the December 16th weekend of a million movies trying to make the Oscar deadline. Anyone interested in accompanying me to all these flicks? I’ll even buy the popcorn.

Ciao Bella!

Matteo Yazge


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