There’s no way my company will let me say anything this funny… or vulgar… or unclothed.
I promise this is the only serious paragraph in this post. It starts off kind of serious, and then finishes funny. (It gets better.) SO! It’s never really been a good time to be different in high school, but unfortunately it seems that right now it’s extra difficult. There’s been an insane outbreak in bullying, suicide, and hate crimes. I was lucky only to experience bullying, and from what I can judge based on what I’ve seen on the news, only moderate bullying at that. This is why when my company sent out an e-mail saying they would be producing its own corporate “It Gets Better” video, I knew I had to sign up. I was extremely blessed to have people in my life during the incredibly awkward period most people refer to as high school. They made me feel loved and respected, and they were the ones who helped me survive the pretty despicable things people would say say, yell, or try to do to me. It also helped to have a razor sharp wit and a bag full of sarcastic comments, most of which went over the bullies’ thick, neanderthal-like heads. I BITE MY THUMB AT THEE!
I’ve tried thinking of what I’m going to say today when I finally get in front of the camera. If I were to do this on my own, it would end up being more like the video I’ve posted above. I also would have posted it over a year ago, because that’s really when all this started and I like to think of myself as being culturally relevant, but better late than never, right? But the one message that I would really like to send is that, if things can get better for Demi Moore, they can get better for you. I mean, look at her! She was stuck married to a complete bearded asshole who has only become more and more like Charlie Sheen since he took Mr. Sheen’s place on Two and a Half Men. Just in the same way that Demi got the scumbag Ashton out of her life, eventually, you’ll get the bullies out of yours. And just like Demi, you still have a chance to go back to the original hunk in your life, though yours probably didn’t star in Die Hard, The Fifth Element, or The Sixth Sense. Still, there’s a sexy hunk of a bald man out there just waiting to age gracefully with you. Trust me. It gets better.