Kris Humphries Cancels, I Party in Vegas Anyway

Watch out, Vegas, there’s a new fame-whoring couple in town!

 

Poor, poor Kris Humphries is so sad that his fake wife has called off their fake marriage, that he can’t even host a simple Las Vegas party anymore. It’s sad really, the crippling effects of a lost sham romance for the sake of milking the gossip cycle for all it’s worth love. Kris was scheduled to host a party at the top of the Eiffel Tower at the Paris Hotel in Vegas on Saturday night, but alas… he is “le tired” from his less than stellar performance as a Kardashian playmate. Coincidentally, in a few hours, I happen to be heading to Vegas for a lovely weekend with one of my best friends Lindsay. Our original plan was to somehow get ourselves onto that guest list by any means necessary – Ocean’s 11 style or potentially Pretty Woman style. We were going to make that snap decision when we got to the door of the club. We then intended to corner Mr. Humphries and ply him with ample amounts of shitty tequila until he told us everything he knew about the amoeba-like monstrosity that is the Kardashian Empire. Unfortunately, now that he will no longer be joining us in Vegas this weekend, we have to come up with a Plan B on how to entertain ourselves (hopefully not involving the actual Plan B pill).

So, in the absence of trashy reality TV spectacle, we are accepting suggestions on other, yet equally as exciting/embarassing, things to do while in Vegas for the weekend. If you note from the comparison pictures above, we already look quite a lot like the Humphries-Kardasians (I like to think they hyphenated their names for at least the 72 days they were together). So we could always just walk around pretending to be them, but that might land us in a psych ward, correctional facility, or possibly both. We’d much rather hear your ideas!

 

Ciao Bella!

Matteo Yazge

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