Hocus Pocus and Other Witches

This movie is what Halloween is all about.

It’s not Halloween without Hocus Pocus, a movie that you should also be watching periodically throughout the year if you know what’s good for you. Where else are you going to find a talking cat, a rousing rendition of I Put a Spell on You, and Kathy Najimi riding a vacuum cleaner through the night sky? My point exactly.

But in addition to watching the lovely singing, dancing witches from Hocus Pocus, you should also take the time to catch up with the less-musically-adept witches on Once Upon a Time, ABC’s new Sunday-night show. Is it the best show on television right now? Not exactly. Is the writing a little over the top and melodramatic? Pretty much. But is Kristin Bauer van Straten (the chick who plays Pam in True Blood) in it? Definitely. She only has a small appearance as Maleficant thus far, but it’s better than having to wait until next summer to see her on HBO again. The concept for the show is also pretty cool – fairytale characters trapped in the worst place on earth (MAINE!) with no memory of who they are and a perpetual lack of maple syrup despite their proximity to both Vermont and Canada. Ok, so I added that last part, but wouldn’t that just be the worst??? The only thing more painful that not knowing you’re actually Prince Charming is the dry-mouthed pain of downing an entire short stack without enough syrup. Trust me, I’ve experienced both.

It will be interesting to see where they take the show. My guess is we won’t see the curse broken and all the fairytale characters awakened until the end of season one, at which point they’ll also realize what a sad, syrup-less life they’ve been leading. They’ll all attack the wicked witch like a pack of feral cats and use her power to tap the trees of Maine, making it only slightly better than the worst place on Earth, if only because they now have more maple syrup than that shit-hole of a state people refer to as Rhode Island. I’m just spit-balling here, but ABC, I am available to start writing scripts, if you’re interested.

Ciao Bella!

Matteo Yazge

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