Pretty hopeless, if you ask me…
Let’s start with the obvious: Rihanna is not Irish. There. I said it, and no I’m not going to take it back. The truth must be heard!! No fake accents will fool me! And not only is she not Irish, but she was kicked off an Irish Farmer’s land while filming the weird mosh pit/mud scene of her video because at one point she wasn’t wearing a shirt… or bra. Apparently the farmer had agreed to let her film there, having no idea who she was. Not even she asked him to “please don’t stop the music” and offered to “stand under [her] umbrella”. This farmer also happens to be a leader of one of the largest Protestant political parties in Ireland, so maybe RiRi might have wanted to do a Google search on the dude before she started prancing around topless on his farm. Just a thought.
As for the actual content of this video, it makes me mildly uncomfortable. I feel like I’m watching a violent/sexual Warhol film that was made on a hipstamatic iPhone filter. Not that that’s necessarily a bad thing, but it’s definitely not an upper. To say that Rihanna made this song/video autobiographical would be the understatement of the week. We all know the weird scrappy blonde dude is Chris Brown. Don’t even try to say it’s not. And baby girl, I don’t like how he was branding you with a tattoo that said “mine.” Sure, it’s cute if you want to use sparklers like Katy Perry and spell things like “Yours” or “Love” or even “S&M,” but that tattoo thing was one step too far in the realm of creepy. Granted, I’ve never been in an abusive relationship; this might be very therapeutic for Rihanna, and in which case I hope this video is a great success. But I’m more worried about the overall message. You know, the one where it ends with her vomiting ribbons and curling up in the fetal position in the corner. It’s the kind of thing that I hope my 17-year-old sister watches and thinks, “Damn. I’m never going to let myself be that hopeless, abused, or auto-tuned.”