No Boots About It!

Doesn’t she look ecstatic in her boots?

As promised in yesterdays post, I wore my Hunter rain boots all of yesterday. While it was indeed raining pretty much all day, the most action those boots saw was when I spilled my coffee on them. (See? They’re for indoor use as well!) Throughout the day, I kept getting comments from people in the office. Let’s assume that they were all positive and at no point were any of the “complements” loaded with tangible sarcasm. A civilized person would never mock the galosh. For the most part, I think it could have been the first time many of these people were even seeing a rain boot in person. It’s almost as if the rain boot was a mythical being that only comes around once a year to dry little children’s feet. Like a unicorn, or that weird homeless guy that breaks into your house in the middle of the night and dries your feet.

Galoshes/Wellies/Rain boots say a lot about a person, which is probably why many people felt comfortable approaching me while I was wearing them. For instance, no one who wants to avoid people or attention would ever wear a rain boot. Wearing boots, especially in a brighter color, says “Hey! I’m a nice kind of guy/gal. Let’s be friends and talk about puddles, or Gene Kelly, or how warm and dry our tootsies are.” Plus, the odds of a person being Canadian greatly increase if he/she is wearing a pair of wellies. I’m not sure where the scientific research is to back up that statement, but just go with me for a minute. Those Canadians are always having to deal with cold, and snow, and for the three weeks out of the year that it’s warm enough, rain. They have to deal with moose-crossings to get to work, which inevitably means having to avoid stepping in moose droppings. They have so many different needs for boots, it’s a wonder they ever take them off. So naturally, you’re going to want to talk to someone wearing boots, if only to learn why the moose crossed the road. And besides, when was the last time you talked to a Canadian and didn’t have an interesting conversation? It’s fun to talk to someone who thinks they come from a real country, when in all reality it’s just a big maple syrup factory.

What’s most confusing about the whole galosh exploration yesterday was that, in theory, they’re the perfect LA accessory. Look at the girl in the photo up above. She’s emaciated, somewhat bored with everything around her, and has horrible posture/great hair. She’s also pretending to be good at something that we all know she clearly can’t do – yeah, see that fishing rod? Who’s she trying to kid? I don’t get how these could be any more LA-friendly, unless they had a secret pocket for your cocaine stash. In that vein, Google Image search “Kate Moss Hunter Boots”. Enough said. So until all these California Dreamers can get their act together, I will lead the charge on the rain gear front. The next horizon? Obnoxious yellow raincoat.

Ciao Bella!

Matteo Yazge

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