Possum Attack

This crap is going to be me soon…

I’m horrified. Last night I got home and there were more furry critters hanging out, eating my neighbor’s cat food. No raccoons though, this time it was a possum. I’m not sure if the LA Wildlife preservation people are just catching all the disease-carrying rodents and dropping them off in my driveway or what the deal is, but it definitely needs to stop. Under no circumstances am I prepared to get rabies. I’m going to be like that poor, poorly dressed woman in the video that opens her underwear drawer to find a momma possum nesting and feeding her little baby possums. What’s next?! I mean, I’m only 5 minutes away from the LA Zoo, so I’m thinking that when I get home from work tonight, there are going to be three-toed sloths and wallabies hanging out in my living room.

There’s really not much left to say about the sad state of my apparently very wildlife-inhabited driveway. Let’s just pray the next animal that comes along is big and smart enough to just eat my neighbor’s damned cats and then we won’t have to worry about the cat food attracting any more animals, feline or otherwise.

Ciao Bella!

Matteo Yazge

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