Gleason Three

Spoiler Alert: I want to know what happened to Fondu for 2.

Glee, glee, glee… Have we learned nothing from last seasons strong points and moment of remote-throwing aggravation? Tonight’s episode was all over the place, and to make matters worse, they almost won me back at the end with that Hairspray song. There’s something about that song that makes me well up like a middle-aged woman watching Lifetime. But I will not be tricked that easily. I’m so disgruntled, I find it’s easiest to discuss my thoughts in numerical form:

  1. WHERE THE HELL IS LAUREN ZIZES?!
    Don’t they understand she was one of the funniest parts about that show? And now who’s going to keep Amber Riley company at the dessert table on the set? I mean seriously… There was nothing more romantic than watching Zizes and Puck snuggle up to each other while he sang mildly offensive fat songs to her.
  2. Quinn. See Above.
    I’d like to thank the kind author of zachyack.tumblr.com for posting this. There’s really not much else I can say… oh, except maybe this: “ANGST!”
  3. Don’t even THINK about writing her off the show.
    Listen, I get it. We’re finally starting to pretend like reality has a baring on this show. It makes sense that if you set a piano on fire in the middle of school grounds, maybe you shouldn’t be allowed in the school’s glee club. Fair. But since when did this show start using logic? Does no one else remember the episode where no one got in trouble for drinking at school? Or how about Jane Lynch mauling roughly twelve students per episode without being fired? So why don’t we take some of the ugly/less awesome characters and start slowly writing them off the show instead. Bitch, ain’t nobody gunna mess with my Santana like that.
  4. Really, that well dressed and no Emmy wins???
    I know this has nothing to do with the episode tonight, but I thought it was necessary to point out how pretty they all looked. Well, everyone except Lea Michelle, whose dress kind of makes her look like a line-backer.
  5. Ciao Ciao Trouty Mouth
    Oh, guppy-lips, you will be missed. You were like the 6th person they cut from this season, probably because FOX was bitching about how huge the budget is for Glee. While I’m very sad about your departure from the show, I’m telling myself that now you might actually join your brother in that Hot Chelle Rae band of his. Not a bad idea, huh?
  6. Brittany Wins. Always.
    Quote of the evening – Brittany: “I have pepperoni in my bra.” Santana: “Those are your nipples.”
    In related news, I’m going to say it again, why have we not seen more of Brittany’s video blog talk show, Fondu for 2?

 

Those are the only things I can remember from last night’s episode. That and Darren Criss jumping around in hotpants and then setting a piano on fire. What a great way to bring back a season, literally and figuratively setting the world on fire.

 

Ciao Bella!

Matteo Yazge

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One response to “Gleason Three

  1. i agree with all of your points. mostly about zizes. AHHHHH lauren, we neeeeeed you! if fox is mad about glee’s budget, then cut lea michele’s paycheck, cuz that red dress? is not worth whatever she’s making.

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