Speeding Tickets and the Supernatural

Oh, CW. You know how to cast actors that make us all tingle where it counts.

Last night, at around 8pm, I received my second parking ticket in 4 months. Mind you, before four months ago, I hadn’t gotten a parking. Ever. Personally, I think this is fairly strong evidence for how royally screwed up Los Angeles is, but what do I know? On the bright side, I got a very nice hair cut, finally to the specifications I’ve been aiming to achieve for over a year. It’s just a shame that the total cost of my hair cut (parking ticket included) ended up being over $100. After a drive home listening to angsty music and swearing like a sailor at the greater Los Angeles metropolitan area, I decided to make myself a rather strong Manhattan. And as you can see by my tweets, last night called for a real drink named after a real city.

So, in addition to my Manhattan, I calmed myself down with the season premieres of Vampire Diaries and It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia and the series premiere of The Secret Circle. This fulfilled both my inner 14-year-old girl and my inner 19-year-old frat boy. The CW tends to have a formula that it sticks to for every one of its series: pretty people in expensive clothing (see Sarah Michelle Gellar in Ringer) and usually some twist of the supernatural. That’s definitely what Thursday nights are all about. Last night there was some inter-species mating involving a werewolf and a vampire (I’m convinced giving blood this week has motivated me to watch more vampire shows), which ended in the werewolf’s mom shooting the vampire with some darts laced with vampire-mace. That’ll teach those young girls watching The CW to try and pull an over-night visit to their werewolf boyfriends’ houses. And on The Secret Circle we learn the secret in the first episode; way to give it all away up front. Didn’t your mother teach you to wait!? And surprise, surprise, the secret is they’re all witches and a lot of people in the background story of this series died of unnatural causes. Excuse me while I blink in yawn in “disbelief.” Is everyone on this network a zombie tramp? Regardless, I will continue to watch.

Always Sunny, however, was quite the entertaining half hour. Frank decides to try and marry a hooker, full-on Pretty Woman style. Mac has gained 50 pounds for this season. Rob McElhenney decided to get super fat for his role as Mac this season, because he thought it would be really funny. As much as it pains me to say it, he was 100% correct. The fat jokes are never ending, but with jokes only a former-skinny guy can deliver. Particularly funny is how Mac is convinced he’s just tacked on a lot of muscle mass since we’ve last seen him. Always the humble one, that Mac. Also, can we talk about the promos they’ve been running for the show? How funny is it that a show about 5 morons ran commercials that parodied something you might see for Lifetime or Little House on the Prairie? Pure genius. Take a look at these:

As much as I would love to continue regaling you with a combination of Always Sunny trailers and my witticisms, I need to go do things with my life. Stay tuned all through next week as I continue to regale with commentary on all of the premieres of this fall’s prime time lineup!

Ciao Bella!

Matteo Yazge

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