I Just Want My Pants Back

I’m just jealous I didn’t think of it first.

MTV has done it again. They have developed another show that will no doubt suck me into a dark whole full of pop culture guilty pleasure. This one is based on the book by the same title, I Just Want My Pants Back. The worst part is that MTV is being a total tease about the whole thing. They aired a “sneak peak” (aka the pilot) of the show, but the full series doesn’t come on until 2012. I guess it’s mildly appropriate for a show with a title like this to give me the prime-time equivalent of blue balls. But let me give you a run-down of what this show is about:

Boy meets girl at bar. Girl says something funny. Boy says something funnier, and slightly self-deprecating. Cut to boy and girl feverishly undressing at boys apartment. Girl says, “LET’S HAVE SEX IN YOUR FRIDGE!!!” I die laughing uncontrollably. Boy says, “This is going to make the best e-mail tomorrow morning.” I continue laughing, remembering several Facebook messages that have flown back and forth among my friends, imagining how to make them better in the future through the artful inclusion of refrigerators. Boy wakes up in the morning. Girl takes boys pants, because she’s dying of scurvy…. well, they never really explain that part very well. Girl gives boy her number, which we find out later is the number for a Chinese take-out place (wonton, anyone?). Boy is super bummed: out one hot girl, one pair of pants, and the crab Rangoon was cold! Boy’s best friend looks like Ke$ha and does things like wear sunglasses at 8am, and make jokes about prescription pills. They run around Brooklyn and hipster jokes abound. Also, they both make 90’s references, not the least of which being about James Van Der Beek (where’d he go after that Ke$ha video?). I suspect later in the season Boy’s best friend will shoot lasers at unicorns and Van Der Beek will make another guest appearance. At end of episode, we all just want Boy to get his pants back and find out how he finally met your mother. Oh wait, maybe I’m mixing shows…

So yeah, that’s pretty much the gist of it. I’m assuming we’ll spend the entire season following this dude on his quest to get his pants back, and presumably the girl. Although, after that bitch ran away with his pants and gave him a bogus number, I don’t know that I fully support him on his epic quest to find this “true love.” Unless that true love is for his jeans. Girls may come and go, but denim is forever.

Ciao Bella!

Matteo Yazge

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