Poor, poor Peyton.
Dear Peyton Manning,
Hi! How’s it going? Are you as excited about the season starting up as I am? I figured. I wanted to take the opportunity to send you a get well card. Since you’re not playing at the moment, you’ll have plenty of time to read this card and let its good vibes heal you. It must be frustrating to have another year where you’re injured/recovering during the entire preseason. Trust me buddy, we’re all pulling for you. But let me level with you for a minute.
Listen, I’m a huge Manning family fan. I’ve got both of you guys on my fantasy roster, but right now I’m worried I’m going to have to rely solely on your brother. I know you like to stay positive about his QB abilities, and as a casual Giants fan, I’ve been optimistic. But as a member of a fantasy football league, I’m more than a little skeptical. If you’re injured, I can’t consistently rely on Eli to get the job done. The only other backup quarterback I could scrounge up was Mark Sanchez, and while he’s got the winningest smile in the league, I don’t think I get extra fantasy points for dimples. So while I’m sure you’re trying to get better, I need you to try a little harder. If not for my fantasy football prospects, then for the fact that this Hoosier boy is stuck out in California with a whole bunch of Chargers fans. It’s killing me being in a state where Philip Rivers is considered a supportable quarterback.
So let me know if there’s anything I can do to help with the recovery. We all want you back on the field soon. I’ll bring over some soup, maybe some multi-vitamins. I realize you’re recovering from neck surgery, but I’m not taking chances on any other infirmities. Are you taking any Zinc supplements?