The DMV is a Ponzi Scheme

I vote that THIS should be the official flag of California.

This week I finally took care of switching over my license and registration to the state of California. I didn’t miss a single question on the driver’s license test, yes, thank you, thank you (bows graciously). And thanks to the lovely appointment system, I didn’t have to wait more than 30 seconds when I went into the DMV. All of these things boded well for what I thought would be a shockingly smooth and painless adventure in the name of proper legal documentation. A kind Armenian woman at the counter helped me file my paperwork to register my car, and even told me that because I drive a hybrid, I wouldn’t have to get an emissions test. Fancy that! She was all giggles and smiles and sunshine. But this lulled sense of security was short-lived.

Once she stopped finally got her giggles under control, Lady Armenia told me how much I owed California if I wished to continue driving my car: $700. Yup. That’s right. You didn’t read that wrong. 700. Like that religious club on TV. My heart definitely stopped for several beats. On top of that, the DMV does not accept credit. Yup. I had to have $700 in cash just laying somewhere or I wasn’t allowed to continue legally driving my car. I’m not sure how, but I’m fairly certain Arnold Schwarzenegger is to blame. I’ve been cursing him ever since I drained my bank account for this stupid registration fee, one that I’ll have to pay every year, mind you. Can I also point out that I’m driving a car that is less taxing of the roads/our environment/traffic cops? My car is really light, so the wear and tear on the roads is minimal. I have no emissions and rarely do I use more than 15-20 gallons of gas a month. Lastly, the damned thing doesn’t accelerate, so there’s no way in hell I’ll be speeding any time soon, thus alleviating law enforcement of one more car to worry about. I THROW MY HANDS UP AND JUT OUT MY HIP!

In closing, I’d like to let you know that you can send donations to my address here in Glendale. I am more than happy to write you a receipt so you can take up the tax-deductability of your donation with the state come tax season. Oh, but I should warn you: I only accept cash.

Ciao Bella!

Matteo Yazge

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