Lady Gaga and I sing a farewell tune for Osama.
Two things happened in the past 24 hours: Osama Bin Laden’s death was announced and I realized I have two weeks left in New York. These are not coincidental. Even the death of a mass murderer will make you consider your mortality (and on the smaller scale, your transient status in a city you’re about to leave). So to address both of these recent developments, I will be making a trip to The Big Gay Ice Cream Truck.
First, I want to do something that lets the terrorists know they haven’t won. Ice Cream is perfect because it’s cold, and the terrorists don’t get such luxuries as frozen dairy treats. Specifically the Big Gay Ice Cream Truck because if there’s one thing the terrorists hate more than ice cream, it’s ice cream served by a big jolly gay man. Did I mention that my favorite ice cream cone is the Salty Pimp? Vanilla soft serve, injected with dulce de leche, sprinkled with sea salt, and dipped in chocolate. Today, I will go get pimp-slapped for America. Take that Al-Qaeda.
Secondly, I’ve recently resolved to do one New York thing every day until I leave. As explained above, there’s nothing more New York/American as gay ice cream. If you are in town and want to join the group of us, meet us at the truck around 5:30! And if you’re from LA and know where I can find some gay or pimped out ice cream, let me know! I don’t know if I’m going to be able to live in a city that doesn’t have ice cream that’s at least a little bi-curious.
Matteo “Pimp-a-day” Yazge