My Life in 500 Words (or less)

Does that look like a man who can be contained by two pages, double spaced? Or by Roseanne Barr?


I received my first assignment for the semester, and classes don’t even start until Monday. It’s for my Nonfiction Creative Writing seminar. The task? To write my autobiography in 500 words or less. Now don’t let this little dog and pony show of a blog fool you; I’m not in the camp of people who believe that brevity is the soul of wit. I could hardly describe my pinky finger in 500 words or less. Granted, I’m sure this is the challenge of the assignment – deciding what’s important or worth writing about.

In the end I settled on writing about being, as Dusty Springfield would say,  the son of a preacher man. God knows that’s given me enough material to fill therapy sessions from now until I die. The only problem is how to edit all that down to two pages. At this point in time, I’m a little over 600 words. As soon as it’s all edited and suitable for public consumption, I’ll post it. If it doesn’t work out, maybe I’ll just write about my brief love affair with Roseanne Barr. It may have burned fast, but it burned bright, sparkled, smoldered even. I don’t know if I could post it online, as it’s not fit for all audiences. So for our younger audiences, pray that my Son of a Preacher Man piece comes out alright.


Ciao Bella!

Matteo Yazge


One response to “My Life in 500 Words (or less)

  1. Love that photo! I NEED a copy! And if anyone can contain themselves to 500 words, well, good luck anyway.

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