Creepy toddlers posing as lesbians are all the rage this season.
My friend Lauren shared a link with photos from a recent Vogue Paris. Apparently they decided to take playing dress-up to a whole new level of creepy. Now I’m all about child talents; I’ve even been known to whip my hair back and forth from time to time. But this? This is just plain odd. All I can think of is that show, Toddlers in Tiaras. How many crazy stage moms does it take to create a featured spread in Vogue? But, in an attempt to give the magazine (and the purportedly morally-bankrupt parents that allowed their children to be photographed like this) the benefit of the doubt, I’ve decided to take a few of the pictures and add captions that will hopefully make them a little… oh, I don’t know… less like something you’d find in your creepy uncle’s bathroom.
“My teeth get cleaner when I wear my jewels… also when my besties cuddle in furs out in my bedroom while they wait for me to finish.”
“I can’t tell if that’s gummy worms or lipstick in my teeth. Oh, to be young…”
“Doesn’t every five-year-old lounge around in Louboutin pumps and an up-do? Or just the ones that aspire to live in the Playboy Mansion one day…”
I mean, I tried. Apparently this photos are beyond redemption.